Fuck Yeah Hoarding

Shit my mother hoards.

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Dragons: Mythological Hoarders 



Dragons may not have much real use for all their wealth, but they know it to an ounce as a rule, especially after long possession; and Smaug was no exception… He stirred and stretched his neck to sniff. Then he missed the cup!
     Thieves! Fire! Murder! Such a thing had not happened since he first came to the Mountain! His rage passes description - the sort of rage that is only seen when rich folk that have more than they can enjoy suddenly lose something that they have long had but have never before used or wanted.



~The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien
(Image: A “Hobbit” Cross-Promotion that didn’t happen by Dr. Benway, from Something Awful’s Photoshop Phriday )

Dragons: Mythological Hoarders 

Dragons may not have much real use for all their wealth, but they know it to an ounce as a rule, especially after long possession; and Smaug was no exception… He stirred and stretched his neck to sniff. Then he missed the cup!

     Thieves! Fire! Murder! Such a thing had not happened since he first came to the Mountain! His rage passes description - the sort of rage that is only seen when rich folk that have more than they can enjoy suddenly lose something that they have long had but have never before used or wanted.

~The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien

(Image: A “Hobbit” Cross-Promotion that didn’t happen by Dr. Benway, from Something Awful’s Photoshop Phriday )

Filed under The Hobbit Smaug Found in a good book Hoarders Dragons

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Healthy Food Styling for Kids: 1983

image

This is a cookbook I actually remember using as a kid- hence the stained front cover. The recipes in it employ mostly familiar tactics to make healthy food palatable to kids, like dressing it up in fun shapes (“Tuna Boat”) or disguising it in treats (that’s a whole-wheat brownie!). But then there are recipes like “Edible Liver” (SRSLY, that’s what it’s called) that defy explanation. Oh right- liver was considered a health food

There is a lot more 80s kids’ food after the break!

Read more …

Filed under cookbook Found in the hoard 1980s Fuck yeah hoarding

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What did the designers think was appetizing about this cookbook cover? It can’t have been the psychedelic typography or the vaguely queasy swirl of poo browns in the background. They must have been relying on allure of the exotic “Orient.” This book promises that you’ll “create a garden of Oriental delights” and “The wok in your kitchen is your entree to a new world- the delicate, flavorful cuisine of the Orient.”

Filed under cookbook Found in the hoard 1970s Orientalism Fuck yeah hoarding

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eisenstolz:

Method of Death - Extreme EccentricityThe Collyer brothers, extreme cases of eccentric compulsive hoarders, were found dead in their home in New York in 1947. The younger brother, Langley, died by falling victim to a booby trap he had set up, causing a mountain of objects, books, and newspapers to fall on him crushing him to death. His blind brother, Homer, who had depended on Langley for care, died of starvation some days later. Their bodies were recovered after massive efforts in removing many tons of debris from their home.

It’s always good to know that it could be so much worse.

eisenstolz:

Method of Death - Extreme Eccentricity

The Collyer brothers, extreme cases of eccentric compulsive hoarders, were found dead in their home in New York in 1947. The younger brother, Langley, died by falling victim to a booby trap he had set up, causing a mountain of objects, books, and newspapers to fall on him crushing him to death. His blind brother, Homer, who had depended on Langley for care, died of starvation some days later. Their bodies were recovered after massive efforts in removing many tons of debris from their home.

It’s always good to know that it could be so much worse.

(via odditiesoflife)

Filed under Historical Hoarding Reblog

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The First Thanksgiving- according to Ocean Spray

I went through a mouldering collection of cookbooks recently. I’m a connoisseur of terrible cookbooks of the past, and unfortunately very few cookbooks from my family’s collection reach the level of entrants in the Gallery of Regrettable Food.  I thought this undated pamphlet was worth sharing, though, since it is seasonal and features regrettable culturally-insensitive art!  This is what happens when you see American history through cranberry-tinted glasses.

Filed under Cookbook Found in the hoard Cranberries Pilgrims & Indians Regrettable Food

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My Favorite Find!

Pitchforking is 90% separating stuff to throw away from stuff to give away, and 10% or less finding stuff that’s worth keeping. This Hello Kitty toaster is the pitchforking equivalent of winning the jackpot!

Mr. Pitchfork found this toaster in its original box along with the receipt in a plastic bag from Target. In other words, it was sitting untouched since it came home from the store in 2004. I thought “I’m having that!” as soon as I saw it, so it’s now out of the box and toasting up a storm.

In theory, the toaster burns the Holy Virgin Kitty’s face into every slice of bread. Maybe if we used Wonder-bread or highly-engineered Sanrio-approved Japanese bread that would be true. Our low-tech whole grain bread tends to get pale blobs in the middle instead!

Filed under Found in the hoard Hello Kitty Hello Kitty Toaster Fuck yeah hoarding

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This slip of paper is perfectly sized for those motel-lobby racks of travel brochures which prove so irresistible to my mom. How could you pass this attraction by? There’s the Ancient City of Jerusalem in miniature, which somehow also includes Montecassino and St. Peter’s in Rome! If that doesn’t pique your interest, how about Bavarian folklore scenes including Hansel & Gretel’s castle? And (singsong voice) it’s easy access off Highway sixty-fiiiive !

Filed under Roadside Attractions Found in the Hoard Catholic Fandom Alabama